I found it!

Awhile back, I posted about a quartet named Bluegrass Student Union who inspired me to start singing barbershop. Well I found a video of them singing "Ya Got Trouble" From The Music Man. Enjoy!

Thoughts

Well, my mom and I got back from Oklahoma City yesterday afternoon and boy is it good to be home. Was a long couple of days going back and forth from the hospital to the dr.'s office.
A couple of things came to my attention you could say these past few days. The finality of all of this is starting to sink in. I've always known that this point could come at some time or another (losing the fingers), but now that it is here i'm not as ready for it as I thought I was. I think that I am ok with losing the ring finger but I don't think I am ok with losing the middle one. I am having a hard time with that concept. However, it really is out of my hands (ha, pardon the pun). I won't know until I wake up in recovery if the middle one is gone or not. That is the part I am having a hard time with. But I am getting there slowly. Hopefully i'll get there before 6 a.m. next thursday.
Another thing. Here's a new concept to all of you. God answers prayers. Imagine that. I have been in prayer over a multitude of things these past few days and have been fortunate enough to witness the answers to those prayers. Safety in horrendous weather, answers to medical questions and many more. Simply, god is good.
One more. What would we do without family? I mean our real families and our church families? So many prayers that I don't even know of have been sent to heaven on my and my mother's behalf. And they have been a blessing. I would not be in a position to deal with this were it not for my family and friends. I don't think that my mother would be either. We are both blessed to be a part of the Pleasanton church and to be acquainted with such fine christian people.
Thursday morning next week is coming whether I am ready for it to or not. As I write this there are really weird things going through my mind. I'll type differently the next time I sit here. If I ever make a turkey at thanksgiving again, mine will be a little messed up. Will I be able to play tennis the same or will there be a major adjustment to be made? Lots of others are racing around in there as well but they are better left unsaid I guess.
I am not too sure how to end this except to say that I know that God will take care of me through this. He will. I have to believe that. And I know it.

Toyota

For the past month and a half, I have been in the application process for the Toyota plant in San Antonio. I have gone through a 5 hour computer skills assessment and a 9 hour physical ability assessment. All the while I have been praying like I have never prayed before that God will open this door and allow me to work there. At every stage of the application process, it felt so good to feel that he was taking his time and allowing everything to fall into place. But...now the doubt is starting to creep in. What if, no matter how badly I want to get this job, God doesn't have it in his plan for me? I have been BEGGING in prayer for this to happen and now my prayers are earnestly asking for his plan to change to include this happening for me. Is it wrong to question his plan? To see so much good that could come from this and to want it so badly, yet knowing that there is a chance that he may not allow it to happen. It is beginning to worry me that I may harbor some resentment if it doesn't happen. That, I know is wrong on all levels and it scares me to think those feelings could arise. So, i'd just like to ask that everyone remember me in your prayers and pray that Toyota becomes a part of my very near future.

Why Do I Watch?

Well, I just finished watching my beloved Kansas Jayhawks lose to the UCLA Bruins in the Elite Eight. I am crushed yet again by my boys in blue and white. Every year I get my hopes up and every year they come oh so close and never live up to my expectations. Now don't get me wrong, i am not placing unfair expectations on these guys. I mean they were a #1 seed and had won 14 straight until tonight. They won the regular season Big 12 title and the Big 12 Tournament championship. And they proceeded to play horribly tonight when it mattered.
Now I have been watching Kansas basketball since almost before I can remember. My dad's parents are from Kansas so that is where my loyalty started. From a very young age i can remember watching and rooting for the Jayhawks like a rabid dog. I remember watching them win the national championship in 1988 and being SO incredibly excited. But ever since then I get so wrapped up in them that I get so dissapointed when they lose. It's not like I even went to Kansas University, but I sure feel like I did.
So, I am crushed and must wait for another year to roll around so I can place all of my hopes and dreams on a single team to win it all. Gotta love college basketball.

Want, Want, Want

Have you ever really wanted something for yourself in a way that is almost impossible to describe? I mean to want something so bad that it almost overrides everything else. That is where I am at the moment. Have been for awhile. I want something and it doesn't appear that it is going to happen for me. That is a not so bueno feeling. To realize that no matter how hard you pray and wish for something, that it is not going to come to fruition. So now my thoughts have begun to turn to dealing with not having this. But I still can't get over not having it. Quite the dilemma. Not much fun. I guess I need to buck up and get over it, huh?

House Sitting

So for the past few days I have been house sitting for my grandmother's next door neighbours, Linda and Murray Metcalfe. This is my first time to ever house sit and I have to say that it is a bit strange. I mean, I am in someone's house. I'm afraid to touch anything, i'm freezing to death because I don't want to run up a big electric bill, etc. Now Linda and Murray are 2 of the nicest people I know. I believe eccentric would be a good word to describe them. They are gone most months of the year travelling all over the world and their house shows it. There are decorations and things from all corners of the globe. They told me to just feel at home and do whatever I wanted. Have people over, roast a pig in the fireplace, they didn't mind at all. Their just glad to have someone they know taking care of the house. They are in Miami at the moment just relaxing. I talked to Murray last night and he told me they won't be back until the middle of February. Are you kidding me? I am now house sitting for over a month. This house is huge by the way. I won't want to go back home when they get back. Maybe I could just move into one of the bedrooms....

(This was a terrible blog. I haven't blogged in awhile and the mood just hit me. Talk about rambling....)

Little More Realtime

I found a few videos of Realtime from Salt Lake City's international competition last year and thought i'd put 'em on here for everyone to see. Enjoy! (and I wanted to see if I could really post a video here. I had ulterior motives, ;)

A Little Thing Called Realtime

So I received in the mail today my fresh and new copy of Realtime's newest CD. Realtime is the 2005 international champion. They will always hold a special place in my heart since their win occurred on my first trip to an international convention in Salt Lake City, UT. The CD is PHENOMENAL as I expected it to be but it has blown me away. They are amazing. I say all of this to say this. I haven't been listening to any barbershop for the past few months. It was just too hard. My mom saw me checking out Realtime's website one day and must have seen that they had the CD available. She secretly ordered it for me and told me it was on the way a few days ago. At first I was a little worried because I figured I wouldn't be able to listen to it without crying like a schoolgirl. But, I popped it in regardless today and grinned from ear to ear through the whole thing. Apparently that wound is starting to heal and Realtime helped me see it. I don't know when or where I will barbershop again. I do know that I will faithfully pay my dues each year and maintain my membership in the society for the rest of my life. But, until that day comes when I get back in the saddle, I have plenty of barbershop CD's and videos that I can finally watch again. i can't put into words how much that will help me break out of this funk I have been in. I hope it does. Thank god for prayer and Realtime!

p.s. You can go to http://www.realtimequartet.com and listen to the first song on the CD. On the left side of the page is a recordings box with a play button. Believe it or not, everyone should know it!

Midterms and Such

The teacher passes out the exam and you sit there anxiously waiting to get your copy. It finally comes and you take a quick look at it. Not too long, not too short. She tells the class to begin and you take a gander at question one. Not sure of that one so you move on to number two. You didn't really study for this one, but you think that you paid enough attention during the past 6 weeks. It's starting to look like you might not have. As you work your way through the test, you are not sure of quite a few of the answers and seem to be skipping an awful lot. Then a sinking feeling starts to hit. You are not ready for this test and you are more than likely going to fail. Maybe you'll scrape through but probably not.
That's what life feels like right now. Just F.Y.I....it's a crappy feeling.

Just Jamie Rambling...again

I haven't blogged in awhile so I decided to just put some random thoughts i've had running around in my head. Here goes.
--I got a chance to meet Matt White last night of the Matt White Band. This is one of my favoritebands at the moment. They are from Austin and were headed back from Corpus. They stopped in for some gas and munchies and such. i said hello to Matt and asked if he was in fact Matt White. I think I stunned him a bit because he looked at me kind of funny and said that yes he was and how in the world did I know who he was. I told him I had heard him on Myspace and how much I enjoyed his music. He and his bandmates were really some of the nicest people i've ever met. We talked about what songs I liked and such then they had to head out. But, not before giving me a CD of their newest stuff. So it was a pretty cool evening. It's always nice to meet someone that you admire and have them be so nice. I've had the distinct displeasure of meeting Julia Roberts and what a cow she was. But that's that.
--I have added another pet peeve to my growing list (it's getting WAY too long) I can't stand to have crumpled up money thrown at me when I finish a sale. It drives me cray. Maybe it's because i'm so anal about keeping all of mine facing the same direction and in numerical order. It drives me nuts to have to straighten it out and stuff it in the cash drawer.
--I was listening to some random CD's earlier and came across one of my all time favorite songs. The name of the group is Bluegrass Student Union and the song is "A Foggy Day." They were international champions in 1974 and were light years ahead of their time. They sang on my grandfather's chapter show when I was about 8 or 9. I had been to quite a few show of his before and I liked it but nothing more than that. Then in the middle of BSU's set they started this song and I snapped to attention. I LOVED it and it's the song (and group) that made me want to sing barbershop. So I thought i'd share it with everyone.
i guess that's all that I can think of for now. So I hope everyone has a great week and an even better holiday season!

(I tried to place links here so everyone could hear a little Matt White Band and Bluegrass Student Union but blogger doesn't like me enough to let me do that!)

God Outside the Box

Don't cry to me
If you loved me
You would be here with me
You want me, come find me
Make up your mind
This is the chorus to a new song by the band Evanescence. I was listening to it the other day and it got me to thinking. We've been studying Revelation in our monday night bible study and i've also been doing some study on my own of the old testament. We serve a jealous and vengeful god. He has done some pretty severe dealing with the human race. But, he is also a forgiving and loving god. It sure helps to put things in perspective that he will someday finally deal with all of the evil in this world past and present. He sits waiting and hoping for all to come to him and change their lives through him. I guess that song got me to thinking, "what if god actually had that kind of attitude?" Almost like the father of a small child who is frustrated to the point of saying, "well here i've been all along. so stop crying and fix your life. I haven't been hiding and if you really wanted to change, you'd come find me." Now I know he is never frustrated, or maybe he is. I am not sure. It has just helped me lately to be reminded of the wrath of god. Maybe it could help us all to be mindful that while he loves us and would do almost anything to help us, he is also a wrathful being that will punish those who do wrong.

Just Jamie Rambling

I haven't been in a blogging mood as of late, but i've had some ideas for blogs running through my head. So, I will present them in a non-sensical rambling forum for you. Here goes.
I must first state that I am in no way a racist person. Not at all. However, i have decided that I am sick and tired of something. Non english speaking customers. Really, this IS America. Land of the free and home of the brave. I think we should add english speaking to that little phrase. I just am tired of customers walking up and handing me money and then rattling of a paragraph of spanish. Then they get upset that I don't understand what they want. Well excuse me but to quote a tshirt I saw recently, "Ok, so you snuck in. SPEAK ENGLISH." Now not all hispanics snuck in to America. Some are born and raised here. SO LEARN THE LOCAL LINGO. DON"T EXPECT ME TO KNOW YOUR LANGUAGE IN MY COUNTRY. Just a pet peeve I guess.
I have also come to the conclusion that the human race is inherently stupid. There are a few bright spots (Einstein, Beethoven, OC Cash and Rupert Hall) but by and large we are all pretty dumb. I had a lady come to me on Monday and ask if we sold gas. She was obviously well off, in her 50's I would guess and she must have driven RIGHT by all 10 of the gas pumps. So I tried to politely tell her that yes we sold gas and the pumps were right behind her. She then said she'd like to fill her Mercedes. Then she just stood there. I then realized that she was expecting me to fill her car up. Uhm....no. I told her that all the gas was self serve. So she took her $20 and said she'd get it herself then. She then proceeded to circle the pumps....twice before driving off. I should have called the highway patrol to check on her as she probably ran out of gas on the interstate and was freaking out. Just a pet peeve I guess.
I was driving home from work the other night and was trying to scan the radio for a station that wasn't jabbering or playing commercials. I finally landed on 99.5 KISS. They proceeded to finish the song and begin what turned out to be approximately 5 minutes and 32 seconds (I timed it) of commercials. I decided to call in and see if they would talk to me. If you can believe it, I actually got through to the DJ (ugh). I asked him where the "50 minutes of continous rock" was and he said "Well, we gotta pay the bills man." So I suggested to him that he quit and help them pay the bills with what they were paying him. He hung up. Just a pet peeve I guess.
So I guess that's all for now. I did decide to post a blog this time not a poem. Just FYI.

Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! If you must - but never quit

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won if he'd stuck it out;
Stick to your task, thought the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with one more blow

Success if failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that YOU MUSN'T QUIT.

Let the Children Sing

I guess that it is no secret how much I love music. Just about any kind. I love it all. But aside from barbershop there is one that I love almost as much. Dare I say maybe more?
I absolutely LOVE to hear children sing. It is one of the greatest sounds that God has blessed us with on this earth. it doesn't matter if it is a wonderful almost professional children's choir or just a child sitting behind me in church, I can't get enough of it. i can't really explain what it does to me, but it just seems to put a huge ear-to-ear grin on my face. A few Sunday's ago, I sat right behind the Mann's at church. Let me tell you, those little girls can sing. i don't think I sang a note that entire service. I just stood there in awe of the sound they were making. It was so pure and joyful.
I think that may be a small part of what makes children's voices so special to me. You can just hear the carefree nature of it. They are singing from the heart and they mean what they are singing (saying). It reminds me that sometimes in worship and in life I just go through the motions instead of praising God with every breath I take. So God bless the little children and the music they make. It's one of life's greatest joys for me.

Life is a Highway

Tomorrow bright and early i am headed to Pursch Motors. I am going to head up to Dallas with a small group to pick up some vehicles that they purchased at auction. So to the Big D and back in a day. I can't wait. I love cars and I get to drive a brand new one on the highway listening to my CD's for about 4 or 5 hours. Plus I get paid for having so much fun. Can't beat that. So everyone pray for a safe trip there and back for everyone driving tomorrow. I can't wait!!

Die Die Die

So you see that woman to the right there? Yes you do. She really needs to die. I mean a slow, painful and agonizing death. That would make me VERY happy. REALLY happy.
Now before anyone starts calling the police or anything of that sort. I would like the character that she plays on Nip/Tuck, Julia McNamara, to perish. (Although, I think that I despise her character so much that i would not like Joely Richardson in real life.) This got me to thinking about how much we as individual (or at least me) get into a favorite show. There is, or was, a character that was making life pretty difficult for my favorite character as of late. As Sean was going to operate on her, I caught myself thinking, you should kill her. Didin't think twice about it. Now he didn't have to since she was clobbered by a bus about five minutes later, but what a wierd thought. Now I would not wish for someone to die in real life, but I have no qualms about wishing such things on a TV character. Just something I found odd and thought I would share. Maybe I am addicted to Nip/Tuck. No, no, no. There's no maybe about it....

Another Me

I was listening to my favorite band, Sister Hazel, yesterday when a song came on that I thought I knew very well. It's called "Another Me" and I guess I had never REALLY listened to it. I knew all the words, but for the first time I guess I really HEARD them. Here's the lyrics.

Digging in for another day
Carrying on in my own way
But you know me, I live and die nearly every day
Insanity is having its way with me

These days in the gallows
I'm kneeling at the block with my neck outstretched
And I should have stayed in the shallows
But you know me, I'm in too deep

[CHORUS]

And I'm waiting for another me
One that can change the pain of yesterday
Carry me through another day
And I'm waiting for another me
One in between the burn and the lessons learned
'Cause being me ain't no way to be

Talking law down at Murphy's Bar
Unhappy hour on my own last
Calling me out on my living lie
Looking for luck I can't even buy

[CHORUS]

Give me one chance at recovering what was lost
And give me one shot at redemption at any cost
Repair my way before it breaks me
Don't break me

Hello, do you notice me
Can't you see that I'm crumbling down
Tired of the same old same
I’m coming to, coming back around

That song is just about exactly how I have been feeling for the forseeable recent past. I've been waiting for a massive shift in attitude and what not to occur. And for the most part it has. I love the chorus. Now I can't "change the pain of yesterday" but I can carry on to a better day. And i'm finding that place "between the burn and the lessons learned" and it's a pretty good place to be. What a shock. When you learn from your mistakes (FINALLY) you fix them and figure out how never to do that again.
So once again music has helped me realize something. I just wish it had the same impact on the rest of the world that it has on me. I wonder what it would be like then...

Mamselle......

Yesterday was a great day in some ways and a cruddy day in others. I went to San Antonio early in the morning to donate plasma. Now I had ulterior motives in wanting to donate seeing that you can make a little green in doing so. So I arrived at the South Texas Blood and Tissue Center at about 9 a.m. only to find out that plasma donations are done by appointment only. Cruddy. So I kicked around San Antonio for a few hours and then headed to San Marcos to take care of the whole lawyer situation. Cruddy. I got to San Marcos, paid the lawyer and was done with everything I had to get done, so I headed out to see if Manny, Brent or Pulver was home.
Manny was there when I got there and we got to hang out for a bit before Pulver and Brent got home. It was a great afternoon. Just like old times. We made fun of each other, hit each other (you have to know us all to understand that one) and just hung out. It was getting close to time for me to leave when Pulver said that I couldn't without singing some tags. I hadn't even considered this for some reason and it made me a bit nervous to tell you the truth. I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it through one without bawling like a schoolgirl. But, we sang one anyway and I couldn't help but grin. I mean ear to ear grin. We sang tags for about 30 minutes and then I had to head out.
I then proceeded to cry the whole way back to San Antonio. Which, FYI, is not a good idea at around 5 p.m. on I-35 traffic. But it was a good cry in some ways. I realized just how much I missed those guys and just how much I am missing barbershop. I went from barbershopping almost every day to stopping cold turkey. i miss it with every fiver of my being and I wish I could get a "barbershop fix" here in Pleasanton but that is not going to happen. Just another consequence of my actions.

Guy Noir

I think that I am officially starting to get old. There are numerous signs that lead me to this conclusion. I cannot tolerate teenagers anymore. I think it's because they remind me of what a punk I was at that age. But nevertheless, they annoy me. Radio stations should just be destroyed along with all DJ's. I want to hear MUSIC when I tune to a station, not a commercial boasting that you play more music than any other station in the southern hemisphere. Where is it? Shut up and play some music. I have found myself listening to 88.3 a whole bunch lately. Yep, classical music. BUT there are hardly ANY interruptions. Just good music and no DJ telling me what he had for supper last night.
The biggest thing that has led me to this conclusion is Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion. If you have never heard this program on NPR (National Public Radio) it is PHENOMENAL. I love it. Brent and I used to sit in the living room on tuesday nights and listen to the whole thing. It is very much like an old 1920's radio show. Different short plays, musical guests of all sorts and much more. Garrison is the host and I could listen to him talk for hours. The show is witty, smart and well written. Brent used to joke that we were like a bunch of old farmers sitting around the fire after plowing the fields all day. I haven't been able to listen to PHC since I have been back in Pleasanton because I could not find out what time and day it came on. Well this past Saturday I was headed home from the store and lo and behold there it was. I took a few detours and then sat in the driveway listening for about an hour. It put a huge smile on my face. I had forgotten how much I like it.
So Saturday nights at about 6 or & (I am not sure of the exact time it started) take a listen to 89.1 and check out Prairie Home Companion. I think you'll like it. And it sure beats most of the other junk on the radio these days.
I should have ended there but something else came to mind.
I don't really like american telvision much anymore. It's all the same. Doctors, lawyers, cops and reality shows are all we have. They're all the same. Not very inventive writing or acting in my opinion. With the exception of Nip/Tuck (Who-hoo!) and Dirty Jobs I don't watch any american television. (Well except for ESPN but that's sports, it doesn't count) I really enjoy BBC America. I watch quite a few shows there like Wire in the Blood, Touching Evil, The Street, Life on Mars, Rocketman and Ed vs. Spencer. They are so well written. Great acting and the storylines never go where you expect them to. Maybe I should just move there. Who know what shows aren't appearing adn I am missing them. Drat.
So enough of my whining. Check out 89.1 for PHC and BBC America for some great TV.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I absolutely hate to wait on a phone call. It is one of my biggest pet peeves. Right up there with staring at me. I makes me want to kick a dog. And that is what I am doing right now. No not kicking a dog, waiting on a phone call.
I waited all afternoon yesterday for this same call and here I am again this morning doing the same thing. Now granted this person who is supposed to call is more than likely a very busy person. However, according to his secretary he is always unavailable or out of his office. Yesterday he took about a 2 1/2 hour lunch. Must be nice. I am actually just really annoyed at the moment. So I will stop whining now.