Let the Children Sing

I guess that it is no secret how much I love music. Just about any kind. I love it all. But aside from barbershop there is one that I love almost as much. Dare I say maybe more?
I absolutely LOVE to hear children sing. It is one of the greatest sounds that God has blessed us with on this earth. it doesn't matter if it is a wonderful almost professional children's choir or just a child sitting behind me in church, I can't get enough of it. i can't really explain what it does to me, but it just seems to put a huge ear-to-ear grin on my face. A few Sunday's ago, I sat right behind the Mann's at church. Let me tell you, those little girls can sing. i don't think I sang a note that entire service. I just stood there in awe of the sound they were making. It was so pure and joyful.
I think that may be a small part of what makes children's voices so special to me. You can just hear the carefree nature of it. They are singing from the heart and they mean what they are singing (saying). It reminds me that sometimes in worship and in life I just go through the motions instead of praising God with every breath I take. So God bless the little children and the music they make. It's one of life's greatest joys for me.

Life is a Highway

Tomorrow bright and early i am headed to Pursch Motors. I am going to head up to Dallas with a small group to pick up some vehicles that they purchased at auction. So to the Big D and back in a day. I can't wait. I love cars and I get to drive a brand new one on the highway listening to my CD's for about 4 or 5 hours. Plus I get paid for having so much fun. Can't beat that. So everyone pray for a safe trip there and back for everyone driving tomorrow. I can't wait!!

Die Die Die

So you see that woman to the right there? Yes you do. She really needs to die. I mean a slow, painful and agonizing death. That would make me VERY happy. REALLY happy.
Now before anyone starts calling the police or anything of that sort. I would like the character that she plays on Nip/Tuck, Julia McNamara, to perish. (Although, I think that I despise her character so much that i would not like Joely Richardson in real life.) This got me to thinking about how much we as individual (or at least me) get into a favorite show. There is, or was, a character that was making life pretty difficult for my favorite character as of late. As Sean was going to operate on her, I caught myself thinking, you should kill her. Didin't think twice about it. Now he didn't have to since she was clobbered by a bus about five minutes later, but what a wierd thought. Now I would not wish for someone to die in real life, but I have no qualms about wishing such things on a TV character. Just something I found odd and thought I would share. Maybe I am addicted to Nip/Tuck. No, no, no. There's no maybe about it....

Another Me

I was listening to my favorite band, Sister Hazel, yesterday when a song came on that I thought I knew very well. It's called "Another Me" and I guess I had never REALLY listened to it. I knew all the words, but for the first time I guess I really HEARD them. Here's the lyrics.

Digging in for another day
Carrying on in my own way
But you know me, I live and die nearly every day
Insanity is having its way with me

These days in the gallows
I'm kneeling at the block with my neck outstretched
And I should have stayed in the shallows
But you know me, I'm in too deep

[CHORUS]

And I'm waiting for another me
One that can change the pain of yesterday
Carry me through another day
And I'm waiting for another me
One in between the burn and the lessons learned
'Cause being me ain't no way to be

Talking law down at Murphy's Bar
Unhappy hour on my own last
Calling me out on my living lie
Looking for luck I can't even buy

[CHORUS]

Give me one chance at recovering what was lost
And give me one shot at redemption at any cost
Repair my way before it breaks me
Don't break me

Hello, do you notice me
Can't you see that I'm crumbling down
Tired of the same old same
I’m coming to, coming back around

That song is just about exactly how I have been feeling for the forseeable recent past. I've been waiting for a massive shift in attitude and what not to occur. And for the most part it has. I love the chorus. Now I can't "change the pain of yesterday" but I can carry on to a better day. And i'm finding that place "between the burn and the lessons learned" and it's a pretty good place to be. What a shock. When you learn from your mistakes (FINALLY) you fix them and figure out how never to do that again.
So once again music has helped me realize something. I just wish it had the same impact on the rest of the world that it has on me. I wonder what it would be like then...

Mamselle......

Yesterday was a great day in some ways and a cruddy day in others. I went to San Antonio early in the morning to donate plasma. Now I had ulterior motives in wanting to donate seeing that you can make a little green in doing so. So I arrived at the South Texas Blood and Tissue Center at about 9 a.m. only to find out that plasma donations are done by appointment only. Cruddy. So I kicked around San Antonio for a few hours and then headed to San Marcos to take care of the whole lawyer situation. Cruddy. I got to San Marcos, paid the lawyer and was done with everything I had to get done, so I headed out to see if Manny, Brent or Pulver was home.
Manny was there when I got there and we got to hang out for a bit before Pulver and Brent got home. It was a great afternoon. Just like old times. We made fun of each other, hit each other (you have to know us all to understand that one) and just hung out. It was getting close to time for me to leave when Pulver said that I couldn't without singing some tags. I hadn't even considered this for some reason and it made me a bit nervous to tell you the truth. I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it through one without bawling like a schoolgirl. But, we sang one anyway and I couldn't help but grin. I mean ear to ear grin. We sang tags for about 30 minutes and then I had to head out.
I then proceeded to cry the whole way back to San Antonio. Which, FYI, is not a good idea at around 5 p.m. on I-35 traffic. But it was a good cry in some ways. I realized just how much I missed those guys and just how much I am missing barbershop. I went from barbershopping almost every day to stopping cold turkey. i miss it with every fiver of my being and I wish I could get a "barbershop fix" here in Pleasanton but that is not going to happen. Just another consequence of my actions.

Guy Noir

I think that I am officially starting to get old. There are numerous signs that lead me to this conclusion. I cannot tolerate teenagers anymore. I think it's because they remind me of what a punk I was at that age. But nevertheless, they annoy me. Radio stations should just be destroyed along with all DJ's. I want to hear MUSIC when I tune to a station, not a commercial boasting that you play more music than any other station in the southern hemisphere. Where is it? Shut up and play some music. I have found myself listening to 88.3 a whole bunch lately. Yep, classical music. BUT there are hardly ANY interruptions. Just good music and no DJ telling me what he had for supper last night.
The biggest thing that has led me to this conclusion is Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion. If you have never heard this program on NPR (National Public Radio) it is PHENOMENAL. I love it. Brent and I used to sit in the living room on tuesday nights and listen to the whole thing. It is very much like an old 1920's radio show. Different short plays, musical guests of all sorts and much more. Garrison is the host and I could listen to him talk for hours. The show is witty, smart and well written. Brent used to joke that we were like a bunch of old farmers sitting around the fire after plowing the fields all day. I haven't been able to listen to PHC since I have been back in Pleasanton because I could not find out what time and day it came on. Well this past Saturday I was headed home from the store and lo and behold there it was. I took a few detours and then sat in the driveway listening for about an hour. It put a huge smile on my face. I had forgotten how much I like it.
So Saturday nights at about 6 or & (I am not sure of the exact time it started) take a listen to 89.1 and check out Prairie Home Companion. I think you'll like it. And it sure beats most of the other junk on the radio these days.
I should have ended there but something else came to mind.
I don't really like american telvision much anymore. It's all the same. Doctors, lawyers, cops and reality shows are all we have. They're all the same. Not very inventive writing or acting in my opinion. With the exception of Nip/Tuck (Who-hoo!) and Dirty Jobs I don't watch any american television. (Well except for ESPN but that's sports, it doesn't count) I really enjoy BBC America. I watch quite a few shows there like Wire in the Blood, Touching Evil, The Street, Life on Mars, Rocketman and Ed vs. Spencer. They are so well written. Great acting and the storylines never go where you expect them to. Maybe I should just move there. Who know what shows aren't appearing adn I am missing them. Drat.
So enough of my whining. Check out 89.1 for PHC and BBC America for some great TV.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I absolutely hate to wait on a phone call. It is one of my biggest pet peeves. Right up there with staring at me. I makes me want to kick a dog. And that is what I am doing right now. No not kicking a dog, waiting on a phone call.
I waited all afternoon yesterday for this same call and here I am again this morning doing the same thing. Now granted this person who is supposed to call is more than likely a very busy person. However, according to his secretary he is always unavailable or out of his office. Yesterday he took about a 2 1/2 hour lunch. Must be nice. I am actually just really annoyed at the moment. So I will stop whining now.

What in the World?!

After watching Nip/Tuck last night (which most of you know I am HIGHLY addicted to) I came to a conclusion. I think the reason I love it so much is you never know what is going to happen. I find myself sitting there waiting for a bomb to drop. And it usually catches me completely off guard.
Last night's episode was pretty run-of-the-mill. Sean was indecisive about his wife Julia (who I hate more than you could possibly imagine. I think I would hate Joely Richardson if I met her. She should die a slow and painful death...but I digress.) Christian was a complete jerk. Matt was well, Matt. Typical stuff. Until the last five minutes. All of the sudden I am sitting there with my jaw on the floor thinking, "what just happened?!!" The writers of this show are geniuses. Here I was thinking this was going to be a nice tame episode and then.....BOOM. I love it.
So you should check out Nip/Tuck. Now it may not be for everybody, but I have loved it for the past 3 seasons and now a 4th. Haven't missed an episode. And I just might let you borrow season 1 on DVD so you can catch up.

Change Your Mind

One of my all time favorite bands is Sister Hazel. Next to Dave Matthews they are right up there. On their "Fortress" CD they have numerous songs that make me happy and can make me think. Now one of these songs has always been a "get in a better mood" kind of song. But, as I listened to it the other day it hit me in a whole new way. It's called "Change Your Mind."

Hey, Hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way?
To just feel better,
Just feel better about today

Oh no-
If you never want to have
To turn and go away,
You might feel better
Might feel better if you stay.

Yeah yeah
I bet you haven't heard a word I've said
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough of all your trying
Just give up
The state of mind you're in:

[Chorus]
If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself.
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind, change your mind.

Hey hey-
Have you ever danced in the rain
Or thanked the sun
Just for shining- just for shining
Or the sea?
Oh no! Take it all in
The world's a show,
And yeah, you look much better,
Look much better when you glow.

Yeah yeah
I bet you heard every word I’ve said.
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough of all your trying
Just give up
The state of mind you're in:

[Chorus]

Hey hey-
what ya say
We both go and seize the day.
'cause what's your hurry,
what's your hurry anyway?

Yeah yeah
I hope you’ve heard every word I've said
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in:

If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of losing battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else,
Change your mind, change your mind.
Change your mind, change your mind.

Suddenly this song makes so much sense. If you're unhappy, if you're not satisfied, if what you've been doing for 29 years is NOT working, then do something about it. Change. Very simple. When I worked the day shift at the jail a few years ago I became very familiar with withdrawal symptoms of drug users. Heroin, cocaine you name it, I saw someone come down from it. But here is the thing. I am starting to think that maybe we don't give ourselves enough credit for just how powerful we may really be. Just think. We only use about 10% of our brain's capability. 10%. That is just ridiculous. And yet look at what we can do with that 10%. I am also becoming aware in a big way of just how much God works in every aspect of our lives. And he'll never give us more than we can handle. Never. I think that addiction and withdrawals and wahtever else you think you can't get through are really all in your head. If you REALLY want to stop doing what you are doing, then stop. If you truly want to I believe that you can. No matter what physical or emotional pain you may go through, you can make it through. Now there may be times you must ask for help, but that only makes you stronger. Especially when that help comes from God, your church family and your family.
This is why I love music and it has such a profound impact on my life. It always seems to open my eyes to such simple things that I have been missing. So I am trying to change my mind about a lot of things as of late. And I am finding that since I really do want to change, it's not as hard as I always made it out to be.