I was listening to my favorite band, Sister Hazel, yesterday when a song came on that I thought I knew very well. It's called "Another Me" and I guess I had never REALLY listened to it. I knew all the words, but for the first time I guess I really HEARD them. Here's the lyrics.
Digging in for another day
Carrying on in my own way
But you know me, I live and die nearly every day
Insanity is having its way with me
These days in the gallows
I'm kneeling at the block with my neck outstretched
And I should have stayed in the shallows
But you know me, I'm in too deep
[CHORUS]
And I'm waiting for another me
One that can change the pain of yesterday
Carry me through another day
And I'm waiting for another me
One in between the burn and the lessons learned
'Cause being me ain't no way to be
Talking law down at Murphy's Bar
Unhappy hour on my own last
Calling me out on my living lie
Looking for luck I can't even buy
[CHORUS]
Give me one chance at recovering what was lost
And give me one shot at redemption at any cost
Repair my way before it breaks me
Don't break me
Hello, do you notice me
Can't you see that I'm crumbling down
Tired of the same old same
I’m coming to, coming back around
That song is just about exactly how I have been feeling for the forseeable recent past. I've been waiting for a massive shift in attitude and what not to occur. And for the most part it has. I love the chorus. Now I can't "change the pain of yesterday" but I can carry on to a better day. And i'm finding that place "between the burn and the lessons learned" and it's a pretty good place to be. What a shock. When you learn from your mistakes (FINALLY) you fix them and figure out how never to do that again.
So once again music has helped me realize something. I just wish it had the same impact on the rest of the world that it has on me. I wonder what it would be like then...
2 comments:
There's a song by Jars of Clay I'm sure you know - 'Worlds apart' (i think that's right. And it has a great line in it - the very first one - "I am the only one to blame for this" and then - "It takes all I am to believe in the mercy that covers me."
Rememer, the thicker the mud the harder it is to pull free. I's awesome to see you slogging your way through. (Is 'slogging' a word? - hey, you get the point. Give me a break.)
Amen to jackie! those are both great songs, and thinking of slogging (i like that word) through the mud...there's a verse in the old testament (i think psalms or proverbs-have to look) that talks about God reaching down and pulling me out of the muck and mire. that makes me think of Peter walking on the water, he lost sight of Christ and began to sink and next....He's reaching down to pull Peter up! Jamie, he's been reaching for you for so long, i am so glad and thankful that you have reached up to let him pull you out!! That's the cool thing about God, he doesn't leave us or forsake us and when we are ready to come back, He's there, reaching down! I love you so much and am so amazed by you! :)
my mom says thanks for the note and BIG hug!!
--and that anonymous coment from last week on my page--i just realized that it didn't have your name on it, i guess i didn't look at that part--but i knew it you!!
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