The teacher passes out the exam and you sit there anxiously waiting to get your copy. It finally comes and you take a quick look at it. Not too long, not too short. She tells the class to begin and you take a gander at question one. Not sure of that one so you move on to number two. You didn't really study for this one, but you think that you paid enough attention during the past 6 weeks. It's starting to look like you might not have. As you work your way through the test, you are not sure of quite a few of the answers and seem to be skipping an awful lot. Then a sinking feeling starts to hit. You are not ready for this test and you are more than likely going to fail. Maybe you'll scrape through but probably not.
That's what life feels like right now. Just F.Y.I....it's a crappy feeling.
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When I was a kid, my dad was real hard about cleaning the house. I knew that and tried, but I wasn't what you would call devoted. (Honesty here). But it never failed, when his key hit that lock, that horrific sinking feeling, like pudding through a funnel, would almost floor me, because I was never ready for it. And I knew it. I knew he'd see every thing I'd let slide. I couldn't sweet talk him. He'd just walk around, point stuff out and I'd end up with a spanking. Every time.
Even as a kid, I wanted more than anything to blame him for it. But that was what was the worse thing of all. It was me. Always me. I was the one responsible. And all the grown up stuff don't change that. I still blow it and blow it big and can't begin to lay blame anywhere but at my door.
Long way to say this - I think I know where you're coming from. And you're right, the feeling is not a good one.
the scriptures that hit me the hard...
we have all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God" and "the wages of sin are death"
man i'm so glad that it doesn't end there.
Satan uses guilt and that's how he gets me the worst, but we have a choice, we can dwell on that and stay where we are OR we can allow God to work through us and mold us to who He designed us to be.
a silver maker will tell you that he fires the metal until he can see his on refletion, so does God and that fire is hard to go through, but wow, He wants to see His reflection in us!!!
it won't be easy, but you can do it, hold on to God and know that there are many who love you and are here for you...including me!
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